'Bunny-meets-Indiana-Jones' Santa squeezes Paul Bunyan's ass at NoPDXAnticon

SANTA-LAND:  NoPDXAnticon, the annual St. Nick-themed pub crawl that starts deep in the bowels of North Portland (just across Interstate Avenue from the Dancin' Bare) and eventually bleeds onto Mississippi Avenue and beyond delivered on its promise of unleashing hundreds of Santas to run amok on the streets of NoPo on Saturday like a pack of wild zombies from The Walking Dead.

And, wow, were these festive folks up for one helluva a sleigh ride.

"We were throwing Santas out of the bar at around 2 am," said one bartender who shall remain nameless. According to the server they were Santas having sex in the bathroom, Santas without pants, Santa's starting brawls; and at least one Santa got handcuffed in front of the bar and carted off to jail. "It was quite the day and night."

I myself caught up with the group much earlier in the day near the Paul Bunyan statue in NoPo's Kenton neighborhood. Although a few noses were as red as Rudolph's at that time, I think it was due more to the chilly weather than the alcohol. Okay, it was the alcohol.

And I believe our very own mayor, Sam Adams, was in for a bit of his own Santa shock when it looked like about 200 of them converged on his home in North Portland just prior to hitting the bars.

Yes, Virginia, there really is a Santa Claus. And he/she/they love to drink.

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